3 years

In some ways, the past three years have flown by. In some ways, they seem like slow motion. I know for some people looking in, losing a parent is "hard" but just a part of life. It's expected. Your parent will go before you. That's how it is. I understand that. But when you LIVE it, it's different. For 19 years (before Abe), I was closer to Dad than anyone on earth. I had no secrets from him. Although I had utmost respect from him b/c that's what he expected from me, we were best friends. We played basketball together in the driveway, played board games, had long talks, went to sporting events, etc... He made every effort to make it to all of my events and had nothing but encouragement to give me!

I must admit, I had Dad wrapped around my finger. If I asked for it (within reason), I got it. The first ear piercing, the second, the cartlidge... I remember when I wanted to get my cartlidge pierced, he joked "what's next Amanda?" :) "Okay, I'll make you a deal. I'll play you a game of bball for it. You win, you can get it." Yeah, not really a fair deal for me, but what did I have to lose? Well, he was beating me the whole game until the last point needed to be scored. Then I seemed to be getting past him and I ended up winning! Wonder how that happened? ;)

I remember being 18 and calling him to tell him that Abe and I were talking about getting married in a year. Dad loved Abe, but I could hear the fear in his voice of losing his daughter. Through it all, he was 100% supportive though! Then, a couple years later came Daniel. My dad's namesake. I can't even begin to tell you how much my dad loved Daniel! My dad could be in so much pain from his RA, and Daniel would come bursting through the door.....a huge smile formed on his face! "Gandad!!" The feeling was mutual. Daniel loved his Grandad so much!

Dad,
I miss you SO much. Today is so hard b/c you are all I think about; and all I think about is how you're not here sharing life with us. BUT, you are in no pain. You are with Jesus and I rest in the promise I will not only see you again, but we get to spend eternity together. So, patiently I will wait for that day. This life is just a glimpse and it's so short. I miss calling you, texting you, calling you to vent, complain, share joy, etc.. Both the boys look so much like you. You would love Elijah and his spunky personality. You would laugh as I would correct! :) You would be so proud of the young man Daniel has become. I know how secure you felt in leaving this world knowing I had a husband who loved me so much, and put my needs above his own just as you did. I love you so much Dad and I miss you more than words can even begin to express. No one will EVER, EVER replace you. I call no one else by the name you held- DAD. Daniel and Elijah will never call anyone else Grandad. You earned those titles and will forever hold them!

Love forever,
Amanda

*Below are some clips from a letter I got from Dad when I graduated college. It means the world to me...I wouldn't take a million dollars for it.*

Amanda you are no average young woman. Many people, some who doubted you at first, even though they didn't come right out and say it, now tell me how wonderful you are. They tell me that I did such a great job raising a daughter like you. Babe, that is not to my credit. You allowed Your Lord and Savior to lead your life. I was just there to take care of you, ans as much as possible give you a good example to live by. Sometimes I guess I did okay, and sometimes I failed. But you held steady. Glory to God!

I remember the first piercing, the second, etc...I remember the day you kept begging me for the one at the top of your ear. So I finally said okay, let's play a game of one on one and if I remember right I spotted you some points too; and if you won I would take you that night to do it. You DO know that I let you win that game don't you? If not, now you do. One thing for sure, you knew the way straight to the middle of my heart. You could get almost anything from me. You were my adorable little girl, and guess what, you still are!! BUT, that came from trust. You earned it completely!

Babe, what a joy you have been in my life. I am so proud of you. I love you with all my heart and remember you will always be my little girl that has one of the keys to my heart. You could never ask me for anything that I wouldn't do as long as it is in my power. Thank you. Thank you for all you have done for me and have been to me. I love you with all my heart Amanda Nelson.

Your Father is in Heaven, so,

Love,
Dad