3 years

In some ways, the past three years have flown by. In some ways, they seem like slow motion. I know for some people looking in, losing a parent is "hard" but just a part of life. It's expected. Your parent will go before you. That's how it is. I understand that. But when you LIVE it, it's different. For 19 years (before Abe), I was closer to Dad than anyone on earth. I had no secrets from him. Although I had utmost respect from him b/c that's what he expected from me, we were best friends. We played basketball together in the driveway, played board games, had long talks, went to sporting events, etc... He made every effort to make it to all of my events and had nothing but encouragement to give me!

I must admit, I had Dad wrapped around my finger. If I asked for it (within reason), I got it. The first ear piercing, the second, the cartlidge... I remember when I wanted to get my cartlidge pierced, he joked "what's next Amanda?" :) "Okay, I'll make you a deal. I'll play you a game of bball for it. You win, you can get it." Yeah, not really a fair deal for me, but what did I have to lose? Well, he was beating me the whole game until the last point needed to be scored. Then I seemed to be getting past him and I ended up winning! Wonder how that happened? ;)

I remember being 18 and calling him to tell him that Abe and I were talking about getting married in a year. Dad loved Abe, but I could hear the fear in his voice of losing his daughter. Through it all, he was 100% supportive though! Then, a couple years later came Daniel. My dad's namesake. I can't even begin to tell you how much my dad loved Daniel! My dad could be in so much pain from his RA, and Daniel would come bursting through the door.....a huge smile formed on his face! "Gandad!!" The feeling was mutual. Daniel loved his Grandad so much!

Dad,
I miss you SO much. Today is so hard b/c you are all I think about; and all I think about is how you're not here sharing life with us. BUT, you are in no pain. You are with Jesus and I rest in the promise I will not only see you again, but we get to spend eternity together. So, patiently I will wait for that day. This life is just a glimpse and it's so short. I miss calling you, texting you, calling you to vent, complain, share joy, etc.. Both the boys look so much like you. You would love Elijah and his spunky personality. You would laugh as I would correct! :) You would be so proud of the young man Daniel has become. I know how secure you felt in leaving this world knowing I had a husband who loved me so much, and put my needs above his own just as you did. I love you so much Dad and I miss you more than words can even begin to express. No one will EVER, EVER replace you. I call no one else by the name you held- DAD. Daniel and Elijah will never call anyone else Grandad. You earned those titles and will forever hold them!

Love forever,
Amanda

*Below are some clips from a letter I got from Dad when I graduated college. It means the world to me...I wouldn't take a million dollars for it.*

Amanda you are no average young woman. Many people, some who doubted you at first, even though they didn't come right out and say it, now tell me how wonderful you are. They tell me that I did such a great job raising a daughter like you. Babe, that is not to my credit. You allowed Your Lord and Savior to lead your life. I was just there to take care of you, ans as much as possible give you a good example to live by. Sometimes I guess I did okay, and sometimes I failed. But you held steady. Glory to God!

I remember the first piercing, the second, etc...I remember the day you kept begging me for the one at the top of your ear. So I finally said okay, let's play a game of one on one and if I remember right I spotted you some points too; and if you won I would take you that night to do it. You DO know that I let you win that game don't you? If not, now you do. One thing for sure, you knew the way straight to the middle of my heart. You could get almost anything from me. You were my adorable little girl, and guess what, you still are!! BUT, that came from trust. You earned it completely!

Babe, what a joy you have been in my life. I am so proud of you. I love you with all my heart and remember you will always be my little girl that has one of the keys to my heart. You could never ask me for anything that I wouldn't do as long as it is in my power. Thank you. Thank you for all you have done for me and have been to me. I love you with all my heart Amanda Nelson.

Your Father is in Heaven, so,

Love,
Dad

bye bye preschool

Daniel,

I am so, so proud of you. You are so many things- sweet, kind, caring, loving, a great big brother, smart, funny, etc... I love the young man you are becoming and I know one day {many years from now}, you will make some girl very happy- just like your daddy has made me. It brings tears to my eyes as I watch videos of you as a baby boy, and now look at you... starting "real school" next year. I love you so very much and remember you are my favorite first born! :-)

Love,
your very thankful Mommy

Elijah's 9 month and Mother's Day 2010

^ Our family- Dec 2009 (E at 5 months) ^
^Our Family in 2005 (Daniel at about 5 months) ^


E had his 9 month appointment today. He's 17lb and 27in long. He's such a peanut....but a cute one! :)

It's funny how much has changed even since D was this age (4 years ago.) Now....whole milk is okay to drink before a year old. PEANUT butter is also okay for babies now-according to my pediatrician! I remember when D was this age, that was a NO NO! Do these people really know what they're talking about??

Mother's Day 2010

I had an amazing Mother's Day (weekend!) On Saturday, Abe sent me off for a pedicure, massage, dinner, shopping, and ice cream! It was WONDERFUL! Most of it was spent alone (also wonderful considering that is a rare occurrence for me.) I did have dinner w/ my mother-in-law, and that was also wonderful! :) It was a great day!

Sunday (May 9th), Elijah was dedicated at church. The boys took me out to lunch, and then home to do nothing for the rest of the day...another wish for this Mother's Day! It was a simply wonderful weekend thanks to my wonderful husband! Thanks Babe! xoxo

misconceptions

One of my biggest flaws (and I have many) is the inability to let things roll off my back; but instead, taking them very personally! I realize this is my problem, and I need to daily turn it over to the Lord.

One of the biggest misconceptions that I hear is the "stay at home mom" one. Don't get me wrong. I feel EXTREMELY blessed that I have a husband who supports us so that I can stay at home with my kids. THIS IS WHERE I WANT TO BE. I do,however, have the option of working outside the home; and I'm sure many days would be much less stressful and much prettier. Although there may be days I picture myself sitting behind a desk in a pretty skirt with my hair done typing on the computer with my bracelets dangling as I type, that is not where I want to be right now. And PLEASE don't misunderstand me. If you choose to be a working mom, that is your right and choice and you have a lot on your plate too! Some don't even have the option, and I admire the courage it takes to go out everyday and make money to support your family! I am, however, also helping support my family in many ways. We don't pay a babysitter. I babysit to bring in some income. I cut my family's hair. I shop in a way that cuts down on expenses in every way possible. Those are just some of the ways. And, NO, I am not saying this to boost myself up, or give myself any glory. To God be the glory that I have this job.

I get to be here to hear the first word; to see the first crawl; to cuddle with my kids anytime I want;to be the one in control of what they are hearing, seeing, etc... It's a beautiful job that I truly love and I truly love my kids! Don't get me wrong. I have my bad days. Days where there is really no use in putting on my "nice clothes" only to be covered in drool, spit up, milk, poop, etc...

I just wish people would realize that it's not a pretty or easy job by any stretch of the imagination. It's not about "making babies" and baking all day! I mean, REALLY?? It's a blessing that is indescribable (but contains lots of work!)

Thank you Jesus for these children that you have so richly blessed us with! Thank you that I get to be here for them. I fail everyday at my job, and pray that I will everyday improve at it. It's a great responsibility to have, but a wonderful one! :)

Done ranting....for now. ;-)

I love you Daniel and Elijah! You are two of the most wonderful blessings in my life and I treasure you both so much!

Love,
Your thankful Mommy